Preface
When Peoplemaking was first published in 1972, I invited readers to share their responses to the book and their experiences with it. As a result, I have received hundreds of letters, each containing something useful: thoughtful reflections, impressions, questions, suggestions, and constructive criticisms. People requested new topics as well as an expansion and clarification of old ones.
This revision is my response to you, the readers. You asked me to discuss:
Adolescence
Life in the older years: retirement and
transitions
Peace in the world
Spirituality
I have added these as new chapters.
You also asked for a deepening of understanding of one-parent, blended, and gay-parent families; healthy pairing; sexuality; and the family of the future. I am adding what I have learned in these past fifteen years, weaving it into the fabric of existing chapters. This book cannot do justice to the full range of concerns in these families, however, and I refer you to the bibliography for further information.
I am immensely gratified that you responded so generously. That means lots of people out there care about families. You may also be pleased to know that Peoplemaking has now been translated into many languages, including Japanese, Hebrew, Chinese, and Braille. It is obviously widely read, and I hope you keep writing to me with your reactions.
My basic message has been and is that a strong link exists between life in the family and the kind of adults that that family's children become. Since individuals make up society, it seems very important that we develop the strongest and most congruent people possible. It all starts in the family. In time, having congruent people at the helm will change the character of our society.
The New Peoplemaking is one of my efforts to make a positive difference toward enabling congruent adults. Using many experiences with families all over the world, I have written this book to support, emphasize, educate, and em- power the family. We know there are better ways to deal with ourselves and each other. We have only to put them into practice. Each of us who does contributes toward a stronger, more positive world for all of us.
Each of us can make a difference; each of us is needed. The difference we can make begins when we develop high self-esteem as individuals. A big hope I have for this book is that it will help each of us empower and commit ourselves to congruence. Our congruent experiences and modeling will lead to creative ways to understand each other, care for ourselves and each other, and give our children a sturdy foundation from which they can develop strength and wholeness.
It is important to remember that every bit of energy we use to fight with ourselves and each other divides and dif- fuses the energy we could use for discovery and creativity. After all, when the fight is over, we still have to go back to the bargaining table. We can find easier and more effective ways to handle conflict; we can benefit from it rather than destroying ourselves.
I believe we are living in a most historic time. Most of you who are reading this book will live to see the year 2000. A new evolution in humankind is afoot. All people who are working toward becoming more fully human will be bridges to that new time. We are the transition people.
I see small signs of this everywhere. For the planet and its inhabitants to survive, we must develop our ability to live together in harmony. For me, this means learning how to be congruent, and that leads to becoming more fully human.
Oftentimes, it has to get very dark before the light comes. We are in pretty dark places right now. Our destructive past and the shadow of extinction by nuclear weapons, together with the pain of the present, remind us of our ability to be lethal. We also need to remember that we have the resources to be nurturing. The hope lies in our choices.
It is urgent that we nourish and develop the buds of sanity and humanness that are emerging. What we have going for us is a fantastic know-how of technical development and proven intellectual ability. We know how to probe and investigate practically everything. Our challenge now is to develop human beings with values moral, ethical, and humanistic that can effectively utilize this development. When we achieve that, we will be able to enjoy this most wonderful planet and the life that inhabits it.
WE ARE ON THE WAY.